Entry 12 - Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Eggs and Spam

So, I stopped by a Barnes & Noble at a mall yesterday on my way back from dropping off NinaBell with her dad. As I was leaving, there was a car letting someone off by the door, and an SUV filled with college-aged boys behind that. They were stopped, I was at a crosswalk, so I claimed "pedestrian right-of-way" and stepped out. Right at that time, the SUV swung around the parked car and almost hit me.

I just kept walking, when one of the boys in the SUV yelled, "Hey, that lady's made of Spam! I didn't know Spam could move!"

Asshat. C+ for originality, F for execution. Seriously, I've heard far better than that in my life. I need to credit A.S. in high school for the crack about, "The school had to build extra supports structures under your desk so you wouldn't crash through the floor" for one of the best.

But I had a good response - usually, that would have sent me into a bucket o' tears and a bucket o' chicken. But this time my reaction was, "Fuck you, asswipe. I'm going home and having some romaine lettuce, and an apple with peanut butter, cause I can lose weight, but you'll probably ALWAYS be an asshole."

Major breakthrough for me there! Instead of getting sullen, I got angry and motivated.

I had actually fallen off the wagon this weekend, too. I'd eaten peanut butter M&M's (their siren song is strong and pulls me to my doom) cheese tots at Sonic (oh so delish!) and even had a mocha java chiller. I was going to have cheese tots again for lunch. I truly, I need to thank that motherfucker for getting me back on the path.

The last week, I've largely been trying to eat foods in as close to their natural form as possible. I'm cooking my quinoa – would be a bit tough otherwise – and I'm using non-fat, low sugar yogurt in some smoothies, but otherwise, I'm trying to keep things largely fresh and uncooked.

I've lost six pounds.

When I ate the cheese tots after a week of good eating, I felt like crap.

When I completed the drive to drop my daughter off with her dad, I didn't collapse as I usually would. Instead, I got laundry done, and pre-made my breakfasts for the week (for breakfast, quinoa with apples and cinnamon, coconut milk on the side for hot cereal goodness; for lunch, quinoa and mango salad with cranberries, green onions, fresh parsley, and a white wine vinegar dressing). Then I gave the boy a bath, and fell asleep for a good night's rest.

Not too shabby, right? Nutrient-dense, fresh foods are the nom, and I deserve to feel good, so I need to keep eating them.

I deserve to feel good, dammit. And not the temporary chocolate-y "feel good," but actually feel good.