Entry 27 – Keep Calm and Carry On

Ah, I wish it was that easy.

Cause I’m a worrier, ya know. I worry about all kinds of stuff, whether it merits it or not. Lexapro helped me with that, admittedly. And it’s more fibro-friendly replacement, Cymbalta, has also helped me with that. So overall, s’all good.

But sometimes, sometimes bits creep through and worry me up all over again. And I’m kind of at that stage right now.

For one thing, my mind and body are off balance at the moment. Lovely doctor’s switching my medication to something that hopefully works better for my fibro because I’m having more and more symptoms. Increasing the Cymbalta, and replacing the Gabapentin with Lyrica is taking a bit of a toll on me. Part of the time I feel half-stoned. Part of the time I feel like I’m going to just fall asleep wherever I sit or stand. And part of the time, I’m just flaky as hell. Not much productivity allowed in that schedule, which is pissing the still-functional part of my mind off.

And I’m sure that’s not all helping my worries about my health brought on by new news. Since my symptoms are worse, the doctor did some new blood tests to check, among other things, my ANA and CRP levels. A high CRP (C-reactive protein) factor can indicate inflammation, from things like infections and, what we were looking for, rheumatoid arthritis. Mine was high – positive. An ANA (antinuclear antibody) factor can show if you have an autoimmune disease like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, scleroderma, etc. Apparently my ANA factor has doubled since 2009 (when it was slightly elevated, but not worrisome).

So, now I’m being referred to a rheumatologist. And I’m freaking out of course. I don’t care what Dr. House says, occasionally it IS lupus. And I already have localized scleroderma, what if I’ve developed diffuse scleroderma?

Kinda weird when rheumatoid arthritis is the lesser evil, eh?

Or it could be nothing. They could be weirdo false positives or some such.

Until I get to a rheumatologist, though, I guess I’ll just keep cycling through feeling sleepy/stoned/flaky/dizzy with undertones of terror, panic and paranoia.

Fun fun everyone!

Oh, and I’ve put on three pounds since I started the Lyrica, HOORAY!